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https://nccur.lib.nccu.edu.tw/handle/140.119/139272
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| Title: | 當「是/不是」不再作為解答： 一位原住民「後裔」追尋阿美族認同的自我敘說
When "yes/no" is no longer an answer： The self-narrative of an indigenous"descendant" searching for Pangcah identity |
| Authors: | 王大中
Wang, Ta-Chung |
| Contributors: | 王增勇
Wang, Tsen-Yung
王大中
Wang, Ta-Chung |
| Keywords: | 原住民族社會工作
原住民認同
身分認同
多族裔
都市原住民
Indigenous social work
Indigenous identity
Identity
Multi-ethnic
Urban indigenous people |
| Date: | 2021 |
| Abstract: | 「我是學分班社工、社工所碩士生，也是中文人；我是漢人，也具有阿美族的血液。」這則告白已然揭開我對族群及專業兩種身分的認同。然而，曾經，我越訴說自己的身分認同，越被自我懷疑與羞愧感綑綁，最終乾脆隱身，能不說就不說。為何「我是誰」如是簡單的問題會在我的生命中不斷發酵？本論文便是起始於圍繞著「身分認同」的一連串疑問，以及相應的自卑與混亂狀態。
經過一連串的面對與抉擇，我決定書寫自我敘說論文。我敘說自己進入原住民族社會工作的故事。透過說故事，我安放中文加社工的雙軌認同、找到此刻能使我深感安適的族群身分「原住民後裔的漢人」，當中，漢人意謂此刻自己的族群身分認同基調、原住民後裔則指向身體裡流淌著的阿美族血液，並以此為榮。
書寫故事時，我亦同步梳理緊扣著論文主題「認同」的相關文獻，並嘗試以自己追尋阿美族認同的故事與之對話。此外，我記錄走上自我敘說的歷程，整理並交代對自我敘說的理解與操作，以作為本論文研究方法上的提醒與指引。
自此，我感受到前所未有的認同「安適」。然而，隨著時序推移，我卻也漸漸感受到「不想只以原住民後裔自居」的情緒，並聽見更淬鍊後的探問：「為什麼我沒有形塑出阿美族認同？」當我聽見自己生命的聲音，論文方向便很自然的隨著我的研究關懷「原住民（阿美族）認同」而轉變。
為了回溯我身體裡的阿美族血統，也為回答「為什麼阿美族認同消失於家族中，而無法自然的傳遞至我身上？」之疑問，我於家人間展開訪談、爬梳家族自日治時期以來的遷移路線，試圖搜尋家族的阿美族認同消失的「社會脈絡成因」與「我的詮釋」。而後，我隱約感覺到自己的生命狀態。
我再次敘說自己目前的族群認同，而開始看見「混雜與未定」便是當前的我。我是漢人，但我不只是漢人；我不是阿美族，但我不能說自己「不是」阿美族。我發現，所謂的安適並非透過敘說而將自己安放於某個身分位置，而是，我於自我敘說的旅程中漸漸看清此刻的自己，而當我正視自己，安適即已然伴隨於我。
在混雜與未定的生命狀態中，我感受到一股真切的勇氣。我決定向外界乃至大社會表態：「我正代表著當代阿美族的其中一種生命狀態。我是當代的阿美族。」今後，我將不斷穿梭於漢人與原住民族社會兩地之間，與之對話。其實，這便是我在認同之路上、在這趟自我敘說的旅程中，一路以來在做的事情。
"I am a Social Work Credits Class graduate, a graduate student majoring in social work and have a bachelor`s degree in Chinese.I am han and have Pangcah blood." This confession has revealed my ethnic and professional identity. However, there was a time when I was not comfortable with my identity.This thesis begins with a series of questions surrounding "identity" and the corresponding state of confusion.
After a series of faces and choices, I decided to write a self-narrative paper. I tell the story of my involvement in indigenous social work. That`s how I settled my professional identity and found the ethnic identity that makes me feel at home right now: "Han of indigenous descent." Among them,Han means that the tone of my ethnic identity at the moment, and indigenous descent points to the Pangcah blood in my body, which I am proud of.
When writing the story, I also combed the relevant literature closely related to the theme of my thesis "identity" and tried to use my own story of searching for The Pangcah identity to talk with it. In addition, I record my journey to self-narrative and sorted out my own understanding of self-narration.
Since then, I have felt more comfortable with my identity than ever before. However, as time went on, I began to feel that I didn`t want to be identified only as an indigenous descendant, and to hear more refined questions: "Why didn`t I Shape an Pangcah identity?" When I heard my own voice, the direction of my thesis naturally shifted with my research concern about indigenous (Pangcah) identity.
To retrace my Pangcah ancestry,to answer the question "Why does Pangcah identity disappear in the family and not naturally transfer to me?" I conducted a series of interviews with my family and combed the migration route of my family since the Japanese rule period. Since then, I have a vague sense of my life.
I retold my current ethnic identity and began to see "mixed and undecided" as who I was now. I find that comfort is not in placing myself in a certain position through narration, but in the journey of self-narration, I come to see myself at this moment, and when I look at myself, comfort is already with me.
In the future, I will continue to shuttle between the Han and indigenous communities and have conversations with them.In fact, this is what I`ve been doing along my path of identity and this journey of self-narration. |
| Description: | 碩士
國立政治大學
社會工作研究所
107264014 |
| Source URI: | http://thesis.lib.nccu.edu.tw/record/#G0107264014 |
| Data Type: | thesis |
| Appears in Collections: | [社會工作研究所] 學位論文
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Files in This Item:
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Description |
Size | Format | |
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| 401401.pdf | | 7675Kb | Adobe PDF2 | 298 | View/Open |
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